I have been feeling a little depressed today, probably because I inexplicably slept from midnight last night to 7pm tonight with only two brief periods of consciousness when Cheryl left my bed at 9am to go home after falling asleep here and at noon when I was hungry and had to go buy and consume a bag of mandu and a bottle of hot sauce. Tomorrow is my worst day at work, which has made me ever edgier. To put things in perspective I have decided to make a list about both the good and bad things in my life, which I’m sure will all cheer you up about your own, more meaningful lives.
1. I really like my friends. Like, really like them. They forgive me even when I drunkenly crash their blind dates and pretend that we know each other from being on the same middle school wrestling team (Sorry again Katie!), for spreading rumors that they’re borderline pedos and have lice (Sorry Rog and Cheryl!) and for just generally being an asshole, such as the time I spilled milk in Log’s bed knowing that milk really creeps her out. Once when I was talking to Kog I jokingly said, “Oh, what would you guys do without me” and she said, “Well to be honest, we would all probably have much higher self esteem”. As lucky as they also are to have me (I’m also very narcissistic, and they forgive that), I am much, much luckier to have them. So, if you’re my friend and you’re reading this, DON’T EVER LEAVE ME!
2) I have a good relationship with my Papa. We’ve had our problems in the past, such as him being the most secretive man alive but we’re finally at a good place where we laugh at the shady things we each do and I’ve finally forgiven him for the time he yelled at me when I was 16. This is big of me, because I really, really don’t enjoy being yelled at.
3) I like my apartment even though the light in the bathroom breaks every ten minutes so we have to pee with the door open all the time, and the landlord is often standing in our kitchen when I wake up hitting things with a screwdriver, and the floor in our front hall area is so lopsided it looks like a fun house floor. After living in a hasuk (a rented room roughly the size of a small prison cell, and half as cheery) our apartment seems like a miracle every day when I wake up and can’t see my own breath.
4) I really like my wardrobe which is exclusively full of things I bought in subway stations for less than 10$. Hottest trend in Seoul right now? Wearing underarmour as pants, and I am KILLING it. My favourite pair are black and white and say “UNDRARMR” all over them, which to me just screams ‘Business Casual’.
5) I really like my hair, sometimes I think it’s the only constant in my life. Someone asked me if I was wearing a wig on Saturday. I said, “Of course not”, in an insulted voice, but was actually very flattered.
6) My dating life continues to be amusing, on many levels. I’ve abstained from putting up my most recent stories because I like to wait a long enough time to a) give myself plausible deniability if any of my menz ever find them (“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about. The guy that I wrote that about was my grade 6 boyfriend. Look, there’s Cher! Oh that’s just me, and my amazing hair in a mirror”), and b) I don’t like to ever acknowledge any feelings I may have had other than mild annoyance or surprise, so I like to give it enough time to make sure my recollections don’t come off as the petty revenge stories, they only sometimes are.
7) I’ve just discovered how cool and cheap coloured contacts are in Seoul. If you haven’t been buying them, then you need to start. They are 5,000 won a pair and they only kind of make you look like an alien.
8) I am no longer broke ass broke.
9) My job is occasionally, somewhat, kind of rewarding.
10) I live in Asia and I love Asia.
Bad Things About My Life
1) I have a very serious lack of motivation that I need to do something about. Tomorrow.
2) I have many sleeping problems. A good example of this is last week when I slept an average of 4 hours for the whole week and then recovered by sleeping for 20 hours last yesterday, when I should have been writing (see 1).
3) I can’t have the man that I really want and no amount of hilarious dates is going to fix that. Unless I go on an hilarious date with someone who offers me unlimited free flights across the world and a cure for jetlag.
4) I have lost touch with many friends that I miss a lot.
5) One of my tattoos is kind of crooked.
6) While a lot of foreign food has made its way onto the shelves, there’s still nowhere that sells fat-free Miracle Whip.
7) I still have a really big ugly scar on my hand from when an asshole burnt me with a cigarette.
8) My hair didn’t look as good as it normally does the other day.
9) Sometimes I feel guilty over being an asshole, and feeling guilty isn’t fun.
10) Kim Jung Eun might blow me up.